Home On The Range

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:


http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-02-21-ask-the-captain_x.htm

Cap’n Meryl – Home on the Range

I’m on vacation until the end of the February. So what’s an
airline captain do with enough days off to actually go
somewhere fun? Shall I jet off to Bali or some other exotic
port? Perhaps take a cruise through the canals of France?
A trip to the Great Pyramids of Egypt?

I think not. My idea of a good time when I’m not jetting
around the planet for a living—which for me frankly is like
a vacation in spite of the long hours—is to just stay home,
and that is exactly what I’m doing. I need to be re-trained
on all things domestic, though. I’m dialing “9” every time
I make a call, head for my suitcase when I need clothes, and
who knew they made big bars of soap?

I’m not as bad as the retired pilot who allegedly asked his
wife if she’d like to go out for dinner and a movie, but
later had to tell her apologetically, “I’m sorry, Honey, but
the flight cancelled.” I’m almost that bad, though.

As I write this, Al, my Web Guy and Senior Executive
Vice-President in Charge of Absolutely Everything Around
Here is sound asleep as it’s late and he’s a morning person.
I, on the other hand, am very much a night person. In my
office loft I have a view of softly falling snow on the
rolling plains of Colorado where our rural home is located
on 28 acres.

“Oh, give me a home where the buffalo roam…and I’ll show you
a dirty house!” This quote comes to you courtesy of Scott
Getline, the youngest of my three older brothers, who used
to spout such witty sayings when we were kids. Come to
think of it, he still does. I mention this because people
ask me who does the housework when I’m so busy all the time.
How do I possibly have time to write books—well, one book so
far and hopefully another one on the way—fly airplanes, keep
up a weekly column for USAToday.com as well as my own Weekly
Update, do constant interviews about the book, column and
website, sort through a gazillion emails AND keep a
household going?

The answer is, I don’t. Al does the cooking, partly because
I don’t have time but mostly, I suspect, because he’s tasted
my cooking. Anything with over three ingredients is out for
me.

Also, as far as I’m concerned there’s only one setting on
the stove and that’s HIGH. Again, Al does the cooking.

I am equally inept at doing the laundry. Nothing ever comes
out right, my whites turn pink or blue or whatever because I
am apparently incapable of performing the art of separating
the laundry. Sorry, Mom. I know you tried.

Vacuuming—that I can do. I’m not saying I do, just that I
can. If you’ve read “The World At My Feet” you might
recall that vacuuming was the only chore I could manage
while in the Army as well. Everything else I hired out, in
a manner of speaking. (If you would like to order a signed
copy of my book, please see the postscript at the bottom.)

Our household consists of Al and me, a Chattering Lorrie
named Houdini, for whom my publishing company—Lorrie
Press—is named. True to his species, he talks his head off.
He’s a beautiful red, medium-size bird of the parrot family.
He says things like “What’s the matter with you?” and “I’m a
sweet birdie!” Or, if Al or I drop something he’ll very
helpfully say, “Damn it!” thereby saving us the trouble. His
vocabulary is better than some people I know. He even
“answers” the phone when it rings saying, “Hi! This is Al!”

Also, there’s Petey and Charlie Chopper, our two ferrets.
They’re fluffy, affectionate and adorable and when they get
to smelling not-so-pleasant I just throw them in the tub,
lather them up a bit and they’re good as new again. Being
members of the otter family they enjoy a good swim now and
then (as do I).

If you care to “meet” the family, click here and you’ll land
in the newest part of the Photo Gallery, the “At Home”
Album.
http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/thumbnails.php?album=12

But what about Al? Doesn’t he deserve to go on vacation?
You have my permission to try and talk him into it. Al is a
retired United Airlines B-747-400 captain and yes, I met him
through the job. His last several years at work consisted
of flying to Sydney a few times a month, having some beer
and fish n’ chips and flying home again. He apparently only
misses flying if you ask him, and getting him to travel as a
passenger is worse than pulling teeth. I’m sure we’ll go
somewhere again but for now he’s very engrossed in
supporting me by keeping the domestic end of things
together, running the Blog and my website, putting photos up
after my trips, educating himself on technical stuff, and on
and on. He’s a very busy guy and I couldn’t do any of the
writing I do without him.

So here I am, at home, trying to just be “normal” for a week
or so, going through at least a thousand emails. I used to
pride myself on answering every single email I received.
Those days are gone as there aren’t enough hours in the day
to address the mountains of emails I receive. Just this
morning I found emails from South Africa, India, China,
Japan, Australia and here’s even one from a Shanwick Oceanic
Control (mentioned in a recent USAToday.com column)
Supervisor in Ireland. This is the first air traffic
control facility we communicate with as we approach land on
the way to Europe and the last one as we head out to sea on
our way back to the U.S.

I didn’t mention it in my “Over The Pole To The Orient”
piece last week, but on that trip I was able to communicate
in Russian with the Siberian controllers. Although English
is the worldwide standard, I wondered what would happen if I
sent a note (at this point in the flight we were
communicating by the equivalent of satellite-based “emails”)
written in phonetic Russian. Since Russian has its own
alphabet, I wasn’t sure the controllers on the other end
would understand what I was doing. They did and seemed both
pleased and amused, so we had quite the conversation in
Russian. It kind of knocked my socks of to hear from a
Shanwick Oceanic Controller. Maybe I’ll be hearing from the
Russians next.

I’ve heard from well over fifty countries now and of course
I have hundreds of emails each week from right here in the
U.S. I do still try to answer as many as possible without
regard to whether I think the questions may be selected by
USAToday.com’s editors for my column. I’ll also take this
opportunity to say a great big “THANK YOU” for those of you
who have taken the time and trouble to send notes simply
telling me you enjoy my writing. I can’t begin to tell you
how gratifying that is. In fact, it’s what keeps me going.

So this is my life at home, a great deal of which is spent
at my computer. I decided to write this particular Weekly
Update in response to questions I’ve received regarding the
“other” side of my life. Almost too exciting for words,
isn’t it?

By the way, just so you know, I peeked into all the closets
and under the bed, and found not a single buffalo.

Until Next Time,
Maintain Airpseed!
Cap’n Meryl

P.S. The second printing of “The World At My Feet” is out
and has quickly sold nearly a thousand copies. I have a
small private stash of first editions here at home and when
they’re gone—they’re gone. If you have any desire to order
a signed first edition, here again are the instructions for
doing so:

$22.00 check or money order made out to WFS, Inc. and mail
to:
WFS, Inc.
c/o Meryl Getline
1253 Santa Fe Trail
Elizabeth, CO 80107

Please specify EXACTLY what you want as the name for whom
I’ll personalize your copy. That is: “For Joe” or “For
Joe Smith” or “You Great Big Gorgeous Hunk, You” or….you get
the idea.

Over The Pole To The Orient

FROM CAP’N MERYL

Link to this week’s column at USAToday.com/travel:

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-02-14-ask-the-captain_x.htm


Over The Pole To The Orient

This week I flew a trip originating from New
York’s Kennedy Airport instead of from my own
Chicago base. Being on reserve means I’m very
junior in my position seniority-wise. I fly
leftover trips that aren’t otherwise covered.
Maybe someone has called in sick, or taken some
vacation, or whatever. It’s not that unusual that
we’re sent to another base to cover a trip.

I had my choice this day to fly right back to
London, where I flew my most recent trip, or to
take this trip to Tokyo. Even though London was
so much fun and I’m anxious to go back, I needed
the extra flight time for the month and opted for
the Tokyo trip.

When I spoke with the dispatcher for the flight
from JKF to Narita I asked her if we would fly the
same basic route as we would out of Chicago—across
Canada and just slightly north or south of
Anchorage, Alaska, or if we would fly over the
North Pole. She responded that normally we would
stick to the Canadian airways just north of the
route we generally take out of Chicago, but due to
some “closures” in Canadian airspace, today we
would fly over the pole which on some routes saves
substantial time, but on others takes just a
little longer.

This day it would cost us an extra 34 minutes of
flying time. (This week’s column at USAToday.com
– link is at the top – discusses taking short cuts
over the pole and over previously unfriendly
countries, like Russia.)

When I asked what “closures” meant, she responded
that it usually means manpower shortages for some
areas of Canada.

Manpower shortages? Okay, stop right there. I
immediately pictured three Canadian guys dressed
to the hilt in plaid winter clothing, ice-fishing
somewhere on a frozen lake in the middle of the
Great Canadian Nowhere. Here’s how the
conversation goes:

The first guy says, “Great day for ice-fishing,
eh?”

Second guy: “Sure is—pass me another beer, eh?”

Third guy, looking up as an airliner passes high
overhead heading due north: “Not that much farther
over the pole anyway, eh?”

They all laugh, just a little guiltily.

So over the pole we went. Well, not quite over
the pole but close enough. We passed within about
400 miles of it. We can actually plug a fix into
our onboard computer (NPOLE) and it gives us the
bearing (always north in this case) and the
mileage.

The minute the dispatcher said “Over The Pole” I
immediately and involuntarily tacked on in my head
“To The Orient.” It sounded like poetry, so much
so that as each new vista in our flight unfolded
before us, verses of poetry appeared unbidden in
my alleged mind. When we arrived at our hotel in
Narita, Japan, I sat down and in less than 10
minutes penned the poem you see below. No
laughing, now; some things just can’t be helped.

I’ve added some new photos to the Photo Gallery
which appear in a new section entitled, not
surprisingly, “Over The Pole To The Orient.” The
pictures are in sequence as the flight unfolded.
The absence of many pictures on the way home is
due to the fact we took off in the evening and it
was pitch black a good part of the way. I went on
my break and when I returned to the cockpit we
were just going by Lake Erie, so that’s where the
first picture is on the return flight.

I also added some photos to the “Japan” Photo
Album. My earlier readers will remember that my
first trip there I ran my camera battery dead
before arriving and got no pictures at all in
Narita itself. I carry an extra battery now.

Here’s a link right to the photo gallery on my
website: http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/

Okay, deep breath, here goes Cap’n Meryl’s poem.
By the way, I’m old school in that I still believe
poems should rhyme. No Haiku for me!

Over The Pole To The Orient

Over the Pole to the Orient
On silver wings we fly;
America fades behind us as
We head for Canadian sky.

Over the pole to the Orient
And Canada’s soon below;
The sun sits low in the western sky
And casts a blood-red glow.

Over the Pole to the Orient
Across the Arctic Sea;
Below is nothing but snow and ice
As far as the eye can see.

Over the Pole to the Orient
And Russia is soon in our sight;
Siberian steppes for a thousand miles
Reflecting a dazzling white.

Over the Pole to the Orient
And nothing but mountains below;
To the far horizon and back again
All covered with milky snow

Over the Pole to the Orient
And the sun has dropped out of sight;
The Northern Lights now fill the sky
They dance through the Arctic night.

Over the Pole to the Orient
We’re over the Sea of Japan;
We start our final approach and then
There’s nothing to do but land.

Over the pole to the Orient
Our journey has come to an end;
Next day we’ll fly away home so we
Can do it all over again!


Until Next Time,
Maintain Airspeed!
Cap’n Meryl

A Very High Tea

FROM CAP’N MERYL

“A Very High Tea”

http://www.usatoday.com/travel/columnist/getline/2005-02-07-ask-the-captain_x.htm

What a fun week this was as I flew my first trip
to London! The last time I was in London I was
just eighteen and only there for a few days. That
was over thirty years ago. I was broke and stayed
in the outskirts of London at a place called
Pister’s Palace in an area called Child’s Hill.
My “room” was actually a narrow bed which was the
upper bunk in what amounted to a hallway filled
with bunkbeds. These were all occupied by other
necessarily frugal students like me. I had arrived
from France via Hovercraft over the English
Channel to Dover, and from there I took the train
up to London.

This time I flew in as an airline captain and was
treated to a wonderful day of exploring in
Westminster, where much of the “good stuff” is:
Buckingham Palace, Victoria Station, Parliament
and Big Ben, etc. I got lots of pictures after
fearing it would rain and I would get none at all.

Speaking of pictures, this is a good time to bring
your attention to the fact that the Photo Gallery
at www.fromthecockpit.com has been completely
revamped and improved. It was getting too big and
something had to be done, so Al, my Other Half and
Web Guy, got us a new program so I can post as
many pictures as I want without getting into space
issues. You can also register to send email
postcards should you wish to do so.

When you get to the Photo Gallery, which I’ll take
you to directly by clicking on this link:
http://www.fromthecockpit.com/gallery/
you’ll see there are different albums, sorted by
location. After you click on any Album, say
Frankfurt/Austria, you can return to the home page
for all the albums by clicking on “Home” on the
dark blue bar just above photo, or to that
particular Album by clicking on the Album name
just to the right of the word “Home.” It’s really
easy if you just experiment a little. Note that
there may be more than one page in an Album. For
instance, in the lower right-hand corner of the
London Album you’ll see there are three pages.

Another feature is that you may send any photo as
a postcard, but you’ll need to register first. To
do this, click on the photo you wish to send.
Look for the envelope symbol in the dark blue bar,
right side. Click on that and then you’ll need to
register. It’s really easy. Just look around for
the register bar to click on and follow the
prompts. It took me just a few seconds to
register myself.

The title of this week’s Update refers to the fact
that although we had an American crew of flight
attendants flying over, for the return flight our
flight attendants were all British, based in
London. Our flight left in the afternoon and just
as we were approaching the shore of Newfoundland
our relief pilot, who had gone to the cabin to
grab some coffee, showed up with a tray of scones
and some other goodies along with tea — high tea
in both the literal and cultural sense at 38,000
over the Atlantic ocean! Since this was my first
London flight I had no idea that there was
actually a tea service offered onboard. The
delights of air travel!

By the way, is anyone by me awed by the fact that
a person can visit Buckingham Palace at 11:00 AM
and be at home in Denver by 11:00 PM? Yes, I know
there’s a time change, but it’s still remarkable
that this can all take place in a less-than-24
hour time frame.

This happened to be an exceptionally smooth flight
both ways and we could actually see the ground on
both sides of the ocean. So much of the time the
ground is completely obscured by clouds, but not
this trip. I included an aerial shot of the Irish
coast in the Photo Gallery – London Album.

We’ll be changing to a hotel in Kensington in a
few months, I understand, but for now we lay over
in Westminster right on the Thames. I was able to
walk to many of the major sights and the weather
actually cooperated, at least for awhile.
Although it was typically overcast and chilly –-
around 50 degrees or so -–the sun broke through in
the morning and I got a great shot of British
Parliament, Big Ben and the Westminster Bridge
under a partly blue English sky.

From there, I hoofed it over to Victoria Station
and Buckingham Palace, taking photos all the way.
My favorite shot of all, though, is the one on
Page 2 of the London Album, where I talked a
British cabbie into loaning me his taxi for a
picture. I can only surmise what he might have
told his wife. Crazy Americans!

Off to Tokyo tomorrow, so...


Until Next Time,
Maintain Airspeed!
Cap’n Meryl